Co-Worker:  So have you ever dated a guy that has his weiner chopped off, and than stitched back on? Me: *blank stare* Uhm no...? Co-Worker: I think it would be cool if they stitched it backwards. That way when I have wood I can pee at the same ...

Girlfriend:  Here's your damn burrito (takes a bite, than gives it to him) Co-Worker: What the fuck?  Spit that out, right now!  That was MY burrito.

So in thirty minutes it'll be my 31st Birthday.  This is probably the first birthday I've had that didn't seem important to me.  Birthdays get boring as you age.  :worry:

The Head Gossip Douchebag In Charge, Perez Hilton, finally reports something worth talking about:  Shannen Doherty is in talks of reprising her role as Brenda Walsh!  Fuck yes!   I stopped watching the show when she left.  She WAS that show.   My biggest problem was when they made Kelly and Dylan ...

ME: So uh, Pirates or Ninja's? Co-Worker: A Pirate/Ninja! ME: What the fuck..?  No, you have to pick one. Co-Worker: Well if the Pirate mates with the Ninja, than you'll have ONE Pirate/Ninja. ME: That's cheating.

I was inspired to write this after reading Dani's blog. Her segment on "Mom's I Can't Stand "is hilarious, but there is one in particular that takes the cake in my eyes: the dreaded "Baby's Momma" mom. You know what I'm talking about, especially the men. That sweet, virginal ...

" A 1.8M black-headed python has been found in a toilet bowl on the 10th floor of a Darwin apartment block. It is believed the snake had been living in the plumbing of the building for some time. Reptile wrangler Chris Peberdy rescued it after the tenants of the Cullen Bay apartment got ...

This is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard of. A woman is suing Victoria's Secret because she was trying a thong on that was ten sizes to small. The damn thing showed its protest when the heart shaped metal snipered her in the eye, causing "serious ...

I just have a few things to say, and my attention is focused on the ladies. If you're gonna buy a gun, than please do not turn it from this: TO THIS!!!! The 9MM Sig Sauer Blackwater was perfectly happy till you introduced him to Hello Kitty. A gun is ...

For the handful of you that actually read my gossip blog, it will come as no surprise that I despise Heidi and Spencer. In a nutshell, Heidi is dumber than a box of rocks, and Spencer excels in the equisite art of being a douche bag. ...